ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Pants are for mortals
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
