True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
