hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
