He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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