True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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