Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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