I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
do herpes really smell.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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