Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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