dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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