i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize