Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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