i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
