he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
