If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
