You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
