I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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