he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize