I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
