you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
