He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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