I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
