I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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