Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my liver is dry heaving
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
