i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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