Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
