Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
