OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
