STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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