His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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