I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A+ Viking dick
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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