I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
