I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
