I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
