Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
