So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
