Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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