So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
