Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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