Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
