why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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