You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize