Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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