dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
