she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize