Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
