i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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