She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I see more hoeing in ur future
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize