You can't special order awesome
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
