Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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