Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
