Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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