when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
