If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
