I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
