"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
