Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize