I looked at my own cervix.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
