If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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